OB Lesson One: The Myth of Sisyphus

A new friend recommended today that I add something application realated to my blog to help future applicants. This afternoon I was inspired by a phone call from HR as it relates to the failure essay I wrote for my INSEAD application...

So to begin in somewhat general terms: When I graduated from college, I got a nice job in a relatively new training program intended to develop the next generation of company leadership. The job sounded like a great opportunity as the retirement statistics showed an aging workforce, with no trained replacements, leading to plenty of opportunities for the new hires to advance rapidly through the ranks. What could be better??? (At least in my opinion :)

Skip to a year or so later and all of the sudden, the good retention rate plummets once the first batch of the program hires hit the 3-year mark. Everyone talks, so those of us following in the program had a pretty good idea of what was going on in each case. I liked my job, my boss, and had had some success making minor changes to the program (still an acknowledged work in progress), so I discussed the issues with my peers, researched objective opinions about what was happening in other industries, etc. and scheduled a lunch with my boss to discuss. It all boiled down to a generation gap, and I, silly me, came up with a bulleted list of ideas to make the work environment more inviting to my generation that just required a few changes to company culture... What ever could be difficult about that? (Note: my boss while great had lived that company culture his entire career...)

If you're applying to B-school, hopefully you can imagine how miserably this plot unfolded, and I definitely took away valuable lesson #1: Only bring up the points that all of my peers will support in public as the rest will be viewed as "my" problem, not a flaw in the program, and stay far away from bullet points. Obvious, yes, but I was new...

(This is about where I ended my failure essay.)

From then on out, I stuck with dropping hints about 1 or 2 key issues that would be relatively easy to change, or so I thought. It's amazing how creative senior managers can get when making up excuses for why something is the way it is when it could be fixed by a little bit more than a phone call. Still no one made the phone call!

Over the last year, Murphy's law really had a field day with me winding up in situations that "only" affected me, so I put these issues on the table as they came up. I would say the common denomonator to all was that when multiple people followed a rarely used company procedure and got a bad result, I was told it was "my fault" or "not even a valid problem." After all, why would there be an error in company policy? etc., etc.

Despite wanting to scream "Stop the insanity!!" I tried, though not always calmly, to explain how the situation could/would occur again in a similar situation and should be addressed or, at the very least, acknowledged to be a problem. I might as well have been pushing a boulder up a steep clif!! In most cases, that seemed like it would be more productive.

Meanwhile, I actually picked out a date to apply to INSEAD years ago to give me an appropriate amount of pre-MBA experience, without unneccessary over kill, and it just so happened to align fairly closely to when the flickering light in my head turned on high beam:

While the company culture might be rancid (my opinion) now that we're in the 21st cetury, I am actually the "problem," as my efforts to change what everyone else accepts makes all of my efforts as ineffective as Sisyphus. By the way, this is still true even if all of my peers feel the same since we're still only a tiny minority in the company.

So finally to my inspration today for sharing:

My resignation letter (upon receipt of the INSEAD admit letter) finally made it's way to a certain someone's inbox... I received a phone call today where in a very negative tone I was told that HR was not happy with my decision. (I was under the impression I was under the terms of voluntary employment? :) However, they were not surprised based on the many mistakes management had made in handling those "Murphy" situations (think that was actually a first). I gather HR views leaving for a top MBA a poor excuse since OBVIOUSLY you can get the same degree part-time in just a few more years.

Then I was asked to please be honest in my exit interview since my feedback could help management improve in the future and to please call as soon as I graduated to see if they could set me up in my dream job with the company... Hmmmm...

For the record, they already have all of my feedback and recommendations for improvements if only they cared to recall it, and they already determined that none of it was valid (See above where I'm a "problem" in their system). The show is practically in sindication at this point, and I don't like reruns that much :)

Maybe the idea is starting to hit home that the retention rate is only 5% (equals 1 person)? Or maybe it's that as the last girl standing, my departure might hurt someone's bonus for diversity? (This is all pure speculation with no basis, by the way.)

The question is, though, how should I approach my exit interview?

A. Bring documentation of INSEAD's global ranking and average salary at graduation in an atempt to "justify" my choice.
B. Explain my actual career goals, which don't align with the CEO's vision, but it's possible HR won't realize this in case I actually do find myself unemployed and extremely desperate after graduation.
C. Tell them I really always wanted to study abroad and thought now was an appropriate time.
D. Some combination of the above.

Any thoughts? :)

P.S. I guess what was most surprising to me is that I always assumed HR's job is to handle things, like resignations, professionlly. My boss took it much better, and he's the one I actually work for :)